I want you all to seriously think about the answer to this question, do you feel beautiful? If you do, then you're apart of 4% of women worldwide who do, according to a study performed by Dove. If you follow my Facebook page, then you may have seen the two videos I posted, one of which was by Dove. I've watched this video countlessly because it saddens me how us women are so harsh on ourselves and a lot of the harshness stems from what others have said and done to us throughout our lives, as well as what we've seen portrayed as beauty in society.
What are we defining as beautiful? What does this word mean? Well, it can mean something different to each one of us and we develop our personal definition based on our personal life experiences, but according to Merriam-Webster dictionary, it means a couple of things. It's defined as the quality of being physically attractive, as well as possessing qualities that give pleasure to the senses or mind. Due large in part to today's society, we tend to focus on the first definition and have failed to realize that beauty is so much more than what we see; it's much deeper if it can also impact the senses or mind, which are not visible to the eye, but are rather felt.
Therefore, it's possible to be beautiful without looking like the models we see in the magazines and billboards or on the t.v. and movie screens. Beauty is felt. In fact, I believe that true beauty is defined by confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. We, as women, must feel beautiful in our own bodies and must take full responsibility of that feeling. No one should have the ability or deserve the responsibility to label us beautiful, for we already are. I write this post not as someone who has mastered self-confidence, trust me, I have my days...but as someone who is continuously searching to understand my own self and accept me for me and what I look like. Sure there will always be someone else who is more physically beautiful, something that I can't change or control, but I can change my inner beauty, by working on my mindset and perspective.
So here are some of my tips to truly feel more beautiful, which will in turn make you shine brightly into this world, causing you to appear more physically beautiful:
1. Look at yourself in the mirror and write down on a piece of paper which physical features you absolutely love about yourself. We should ALL have at least one!
2. Think about the type of person you are. How you conduct yourself. What qualities to you love or commend yourself for? Write them down on a piece of paper.
3. Be honest with yourself, what are some things that you know you should work on in your character? For example, do you tend to say mean and hurtful
things to others when you're upset? Don't beat yourself up about whatever it is that you need to work on, because you have the intention of working on it,
which means that you know it's not okay and are willing to change them.
4. Dress and style yourself according to your body shape. This is an obvious tip coming from me, but it's crucial. Why? Because often times we begin to feel
that something's wrong with our bodies or we don't have the "right" kind of body because certain things don't flatter us as we think they should. We may
have lumps and bumps that we can't change. However, by dressing and styling with the correct style of clothing, it can make a world of a difference. We then
feel more confident because it looks and feels great on us. We must realize that it's not us when we try these clothing on that don't flatter, it's the clothing.
It was designed for a specific figure(s) and that's okay because there's plenty of different flattering styles to choose from. Plus, the way we style our outfits,
can make us conceal or enhance, visually, areas that we choose and can visually balance us out.
5. Don't define yourself by the way others treat you. The way we treat others is a reflection of the way we feel about our own selves. If we're having a good
day, for example, the chances of us yelling at someone is unlikely. What others say or do to you is directly associated with them, NOT you! Whether it be
jealousy or hypocrisy, it's something that they need to deal with. Do not attempt to justify it.
6. If you're with a boyfriend who has eyes all around, you know what I'm talking about (he's checking out all the ladies while he's with you), don't let that
reflect on you as though you are not beautiful enough OR express envy to the ladies he's looking, because it's not their fault either...it's him. Then you need
to really think if this man truly deserves to be with such a beautiful woman, such as yourself.
7. Don't compare yourself to other women in anything, which includes physical traits or skill. Remember, you must learn to work with what YOU have, by
embracing it in all possible ways. We all have unique gifts and talents and learn to discover your own and focus on perfecting that. Don't waist time nor
energy trying to master someone else's skill. You will end up frustrated because they have the gift and will make it look easy, since it may come easier to
them, while you'll be struggling to do something that you're not gifted at and although you may learn to be good at it, you'll never be 100% because it
wasn't you're gift or calling to start with. When you do what you love and what "feels right" you'll always do it with excellence!
8. Find time to do something YOU love. If that's writing in your journal or going to the gym, do something that makes you feel good. This will help alleviate
any stress and you'll be less likely to get frustrated easily.
9. Don't always depend on your friends and family to be there and tell you how great you are. This is YOUR job. You spend the most time with you and can
NEVER get away from you, so you know you more than they do! Yes, we love our friends and family and value their input and suggestions, just don't let
it govern the way you look and feel about yourself and what you set out to do.
I hope this post helped inspire all of you beautiful ladies. It's a constant struggle, especially with social media and entertainment constantly in front of us, so be strong and remind yourself as many times needed throughout the day that you are good enough and... you are beautiful.