Posted by Jalisa on Apr 22, 2014

Hello Beauties!

This past Easter weekend, I went shopping with my mom to find her a birthday outfit, as well as an Easter look. After creating a series of looks for her in hand, I had her try on each piece to make sure they suited her well, so we headed to the fitting room. While sitting there in the center of the room, waiting on mom to come out wearing her pieces, I looked around at the different, yet beautiful faces and bodies all around. Some were changing and stood at the door awaiting their friend's approval and some were waiting for a room to become available. One thing struck and hurt me so bad, so much so, I felt the need to do a post on it. I couldn't get over the dirty looks almost all of the girls/women (of all ages) were giving each other, including to my mom! It bothered me so much that I said aloud, "it's so sad the looks some of these women are giving each other." All eyes were on me at that point, of course, lol! Anyone who knows me intimately, knows that I not only have a big mouth, but I tend to share my thoughts openly, but always in a non offensive way, at least I hope! It was obvious that the dirty looks stemmed from insecurity.

I watched one girl who stuck out at me. She was trying on dresses her friend was giving her, each I knew were non flattering for her curvaceous plus sized hourglass frame. I smiled at her a few times and she failed to crack a smile in return. She did not dare to step out in the center of the room to show the girl she was with what she was wearing, like ALL of the other women! Not one, with the exception of my mom, came out to show their friend/family member how the piece they were trying on fit, they all called or signaled for them to come into the fitting room to look at them. This bothered me. Having worked retail, in the fitting room, I had each of the women trying clothing on come out into the center and look in the main mirror, as I explained why the piece did/didn't work for them. The other women would voice their opinions and chime in on what they thought would look good on the other woman, in an encouraging and uplifting way. I turned the room into a women's social club, lol! But not one woman left that room feeling insecure or less than and I made sure of that! So seeing these women in this particular store feeling so insecure and reserved bothered the living daylights out of me.

When I saw the girl that had been trying on the ill fitting dresses on the store floor, I couldn't help but approach her and tell her what she should look for to compliment that beautiful shape. She had a hard time receiving the compliment I was giving her because she viewed herself as "fat", having gained some weight shortly after getting married and quickly took out her cell phone to show me pictures of how she used to look. I looked her in the eye and told her that she was just as beautiful now as she was then and weight shouldn't change the love she has for herself. I helped her select some jewelry for a dress she selected that did compliment her shape and explained to her how I film styling videos on YouTube. I finally managed to make her smile, as she shared she was looking for an outfit to wear for a gathering to remember her mother's passing. 

So this is my assignment for YOU this week to help bring out that inner beauty and confidence, because the way we look does affect the way we feel:


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As soon as you wake up in the morning, I want you to head to a mirror and look at yourself and smile. I know it may feel a little weird, but just do it anyway. Then say, "I am beautiful, inside and out!"



photo credit: Victor

Sometimes just changing your hairstyle can make you feel like a new version of yourself, I know I feel like that! If you can go to the salon and have it done professionally, go do it! If not, just style it differently. If you usually wear your hair curly, wear it straight or vise versa, at least one day this week! 



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You'd be surprised how good you'll feel just by standing and sitting up tall. It's not about appearing taller, although this does help enhance height, it's about exuding confidence in the woman you are! Only those who are defeated an insecure hunch over and have their heads down, rise up and walk tall, no matter what's going on in your life or the inferior thoughts you have about yourself. Sometimes, when we begin to act against how we actually feel, it changes the way we actually feel! Plus, when you appear confident others are more inclined to be attracted to you because they want to feed off of that amazing confidence you have! 



photo credit: good housing

It's amazing what a bold lip can do for us ladies! There's just a different feeling that comes along with wearing a red, bold pink, or orange lip than with a soft pink or nude. It's called enhanced confidence! Wear one of these colors at least one day this week, all of which are a trend this season by the way! But be sure to select a shade that enhances your skin-tone! So if you're cool toned, go for a red that has a bluish undertone, for example. If you're warm toned, go for one that has an orangish undertone.



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Don't let having your nails done be a special occasion occurrence! I suggest trying to have them done weekly. This doesn't mean you have to go get them professionally done each week; if you're able to work that into your budget, then by all means do it! If not, try doing a mani and pedi at home on your own. With this, practice makes perfect. Make sure you get all the tools you'll need to have them shaped and appeared clean. I do them myself every 3-4 days because I hate having chipped nails. Do them as often as you can, but a minimum of once a week. I don't care if you have 10 kids and husband to look after, you MUST make time for yourself and give your body the love it deserves. Make sure you exfoliate your hands each time you do them, to have them feel nice and soft. I use Shea Moisture's argan oil & raw shea hand & body scrub, which is also great for those with eczema, like me, HERE.



photo credit: Philanthropy Times

I believe that those who are confident within themselves are the ones who are truly able to compliment other women, sincerely. But, we don't need to wait to feel confident to do this. All of us women feel insecure about something(s) and we know how great receiving a compliment make us feel, so why not make someone experience that great feeling?! Keep in mind that not every woman will respond nicely, some are so hurt and feel so down about themselves, that they don't know how to receive something positively said about them. Don't let that stop you, though, because way after you're gone, they'll remember how great you said that dress looked on them and that may become their new favorite dress ;)




It's so important to know AND dress for YOUR body shape! Yes it's true that you CAN wear anything you want, but NOT everything will flatter you. So I always stress the importance of wearing clothing that flatters your body shape to enhance it's natural curves and adding some along the way ;) If you're not sure of which body shape you are and how to dress it, watch my body shape series videos NOW!


I hope you enjoyed this post and that it stirred up something within you that'll change the way you view yourself AND other women. Remember, we're all going through something and we ALL seek to have someone understand and encourage us. Be that person! 



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